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Monday, April 24, 2006

happy birthday lynn! (:

will blog about squad outing when i get photos. watched recairnation today. got zombies one! hilarious. i was laughing and kai was trying (unsuccessfully) to freak me out. that is one dumb show. watch only if you have too much money to spend.

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it's funny, part of me wants to leave this place yet another part can't bear to. one year to be sure of what i want. one year is neither short nor long but it's still 365 days and who knows what will happen.

read the story of the rafflesian girl in life today. she's so young, why must she suffer from tongue cancer and have her life taken away from her? if i was her, will i be that strong? doubt i'd be. i really admire her spirit. & somehow it makes me hate God for taking away someone so full of life. maybe this is her mission but right now i only see the cruelty. she does not deserve this. she's smart (RGS, RJC and NUS) and atheletic (captain of softball). i feel that in comparison, my life is almost nothing. yes, i think i deserve to get cancer more than she does.

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i do not like talking on the phone. occasionally is fine but too often sucks. i think it takes the fun out of actually having a face-to-face conversation because there's only a limited amount of things one can say to each other. having to think of what to say when everything has already been said is stressful ):

dad says i am very thin already but i do not see the thin side in me. will try to shrink my stomach. seriously, peer pressure sucks. and yes, i do feel the need to be thinner but not till the aneroxic stage. just know that i'll feel better in my own skin and be able to wear a wider variety of clothes. just lose the weight i gained in canada plus another two kg and i'll be happy :)

mentally drained but happy :) still so tired. i want to talk to sann! i want to be in vancouver now so i can just walk into the room and interrupt sann's drama watching and talk to her. i want to run away. just so tired and maybe that's why i've been whining a lot recently. sorry kai, for acting like a spoilt kid.

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just a random thought - when i was young and my dad drove past, i've always thought that it's a very nice school. saint andrews :) once a saint, always a saint. too bad, i never had the chance to be part of the saint family. poly - was it the right choice?


make me stay,
right beside you.

[ 12:46 AM ]

x x x